A letter to class of 2012 and my teachers,
So I feel this letter is needed, because let’s face it I was a b*tch.
Nothing I ever say or do will make up for the fact I was the way I was in school but honestly I can’t apologise enough, still to this day I am full of embarrassment because of how I acted. School was extremely difficult for me as I’m sure you’ll know if you’ve read my other blog posts. I took the way I felt about myself and my situation out on other people, people that didn’t deserve it.
7PI, my first form, my form from year 7 when I had a thick orange ring around my face. You are all amazing (some more than others) and I am so pleased that I met you all, we may have not been the best of buddies but let’s face it, I was pretty entertaining! Especially when our Spanish teacher became our form tutor! My hair definitely played a massive part in the joke I was. Anyone remember me coming to school with bright orange hair after dying it myself?? If only orange hair was in fashion then! Hole punching my hair and thinking it would create a hole was one of my finest moments! Basically, I was a nightmare, one day I threw a shoe at one boy because he wound me up SO much. So yeah sorry about that.. You know who you are!
9JK, my second form, the form that chose to accept me for who I was and didn’t judge. Thank you so much for all being so kind and patient with me. I felt like such a part of the form and I’m forever grateful for that. You showed me what a form should be. The sense of community and the fact that everyone looked out for each other was so lovely.
To everyone who was in lessons with me, I am sorry. I am sorry I disrupted your learning. Getting sent out every lesson wasn’t something I was proud of but I really just couldn’t cope. Sometimes I was entertaining let’s face it! Especially for those who wanted to get out of maths or science! The two subjects I hated the most. Thank you to everyone who helped me copy their homework or classwork for that matter!
To the whole year, lessons or no lessons. I still knew you all indivually and you all knew me because really there was no escaping the loud mouthed nightmare I really was. Thank you (most of you) for not being too nasty even though I was horrible to nearly all of you. Thank you to the ones who tried to help me, thank you to the ones who tried to understand me and what I was going through. Thank you to the ones who didn’t follow the rest of the year and stood by me. Thank you to the people that still stay in contact with me to this day. I really does mean a lot. Thank you to Caitlin, Joy, Grace, Kyla, Jess, Chloe, Megan and Libby. You were all there for me at one point or another and made my time at school that little bit more manageable.
To all of my teachers, the world’s most patient people. Especially My maths teachers and Spanish teachers. Firstly I want to apologise for ruining the lessons you had taken hours to plan, but I also want to thank you for never giving up on me. you may have had to send me out lesson after lesson, but every lesson was a clean slate- if I wanted it to be, and now I look back and am grateful for that. Thank you to all my ‘go to’ teachers, thank you for not judging me. Thank you for always checking up on me, making sure I was ok, helping me get the best out of my lessons and understanding me. You have all made a huge impact on my life. Something that I will never forget.
And lastly but most importantly, thank you to our head teacher. Someone with incredible patience and although so busy would always make time for me. sitting outside your office became a weekly thing and really it would have been easier to expel me, but you chose not to. You believed in me. You saw the real Lauren I was behind the barrier I had put up. Your support meant everything to me.
I was an absolute nightmare; I’m not going to hide it. But I believe I have come out the other side and can see just how crazy I was! So thank you for all putting up with me for so many years. I’m sure the name Lauren still haunts you and probably will for the rest of your life! I just want you to know I am a better version of me now, what you all saw at school wasn’t the real Lauren. I was scared, lonely and misunderstood and the only way I thought I could fight it was by hiding the real sensitive, caring me.
To everyone I went to school with I hope my series of blogs about school has helped you understand me a little more and if you fancy stay tuned to hear all about my new school!9JK 💖Sports day
I hope you enjoyed reading this one, this was pretty fun to write!
I hope your all having a great weekend
Next post will be posted Tomorrow!