The Green Room

Now I touched on the green room in my last blog slightly, but the green room DEFINETELY deserves its own post. The green room gave me love when I wasn’t feeling so loved. The green room gave me hope when I wasn’t feeling so hopeful. The green room gave me friends when I felt like I had none left. And I am forever thankful to them.
The green room was a small bungalow. It had a kitchen, a bathroom, a lounge, 3 work rooms and a garden. There were 5 ‘teachers’ (they would kill me if they knew I was calling them teachers!) members of staff. Mr reed, the main man. He ran the green room, but taught aswell so would pop in and often have his lunch with us. Then there was di and Shaz who were permanently stationed in the green room (apart from when they were coming to save us (or our teachers)) and then Jeff and goodey. Jeff let me get away with whatever so we were best buds and goodey and I had an extremely love hate relationship. If he was going to take me to the shop I’d love him. If he was trying to get me to do work I’d hate him. And then the pupils, these people all had a massive impact on my life. They made me feel lucky. They made me feel a part of something. They made me realise life wasn’t so bad. We all had a love hate relationship too but really we were all in the same boat and I loved most of them.
So we must be in this weird bungalow for a reason, right? Yes of course. We were all labelled the ‘naughty children.’ The children when main stream had, had enough would chuck onto the green room. The children that just needed extra support, love and attention. The children who were either undiagnosed or actually had a diagnosis. At first when I was subject to the greenroom, I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near my school. I literally had to get out of the car and walk straight into the bungalow. I wasn’t allowed out at break or lunch. I wasn’t allowed to my lessons. I felt so isolated. But that soon changed thanks to everyone in the greenroom. Everyone was just so understanding. They just got me. Well I say everyone, you know who you are. The members of staff actually spoke to me like a human being and no matter what I did; how far I pushed them they would always come back. I was a very different case to the traditional green room student. Everyone else would go to lessons, sometimes with members of staff, sometimes on their own and just used the green room as a safety net. Sometimes they had lessons in the green room but it was rare and if they were sent out of their lesson (which wasn’t so rare.) they’d come back to the green room.
Spending every day in the green room was pretty draining until I got my pink room!!! The staff and I decided it would be beneficial if I had my own work room, seeing as I had all my lessons there. So the pink room was created. We all painted it together and it was beautiful. I made it my own. I had a pin board, I pinned all of my favourite pictures up. My desk was all neat and cute. I had a pink spinney chair, everything about it was perfect. It was strictly no boys allowed. (I think I kept to that for about a day.) It definitely made me happy and I think I did my work in there for a week or so! So really who can complain? One week was better than no week.
Really though I was a little sh*t in the green room. My language became awful. I barely did any work and would often just watch tv on my laptop or do my makeup. I even had a shower one day to get out of doing work. That’s how desperate I was. That’s how much I hated doing work. Looking back I feel sorry for all of my teachers that took time out of their day to come over and teach me, but im sure they all knew they were really just going to get free period. Trying to persuade me to do my lesson for the first 20 minutes and then giving up and going back to school. I think there are quite a few reasons why I began to go downhill in the greenroom. Part of me wanted to live up to my ‘naughty’ label. I was permanently in the greenroom, it couldn’t get much worse. What were they going to do? Kick me out? (ha. Let’s not go there.) I was also surrounded by people like me or even more complexed. Some students boiled my blood and created anger I didn’t even know I had in me purely because they were so stupid, selfish, not a nice person or annoying. But most of the pupils were actually deep down lovely, just misunderstood, like me. Now I was in the green room I kind of had an expectation to misbehave. I had to compete with everyone else in there and that’s when my language and just my general behaviour became AWFUL. All I can say is the staff really did have the patience of a saint with me. Because I was a living, walking, talking nightmare.
We all had some great times though and I’m still friends with a lot of people who were in the green room. Being in the green room was basically like being at home. I had naps on the sofa; we often cooked up a storm in the kitchen at lunch. Who didn’t love burnt chicken and rice? And the words ‘chicken nuggets’ became everyone’s favourite words to hear around 12pm. If we behaved we got chocolate, I actually gained a fair few chocolate bars in my time! Probably not because I was well behaved though. We played in the garden. We painted the shed. A school trip to the local shop was the highlight of the week and if we were lucky it would happen more than once a week! Drama was the bungalows moto. Or so it was when I was there, because let’s face it. I am the magnet to drama. It would be a good day if there wasn’t at least one argument. The phrases ‘you’re a tw*t’ or ‘stop being an ar*ehole’ were said multiple times a day. Doors slamming were just a normal noise. Locking ourselves in rooms happened daily. If we were good we would sometimes get a McDonalds trip or even better we had driving lessons! Making popcorn became a thing. Biscuits were a must. I fed the fish for about a day and then got bored. Sometimes we even did some baking. The kitchen filled to the brim at lunch, it really was just like being at home. I even escaped a few times.

Describing the green room is so difficult, because I just can’t find the words. I’ve never found a bunch of people so patient, so forgiving, so helpful and so supportive in my life and I am so thankful that I managed to have something as special as this. I can’t change my behaviour, but I can apologise. I can apologise for every name I called you all. I can apologise for every piece of work I didn’t complete. I can apologise for turning the whole bungalow upside down some days. I can apologise for being a complete b*itch. And you all know how hard I find apologies, admitting I am wrong. But I know (only sometimes) I was in the wrong and I am sorry. I can only hope I am making you all proud now with this blog. Putting my English skills into good practise ayyy. Who needed Miss Roberts?

Izzy, Gee,Amelia and Grace- The three people who without fail came and saw me every week. I am so thankful for all three of you and am so happy your all still in my life. Seeing you girls at lunch was the thing I looked forward to every week. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for not following the rest of the year and hating me. Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for being my friend, even when I wasnt such a good friend to you. You are all amazing and I can’t thank you all enough.
Mr reed- Thank you for always being so patient with me and always believing in me even when I was the biggest pain. Your crisps were great and I looked forward to them each lunchtime, your jokes not so much. You might not support the best football team but you have the best team around you at work so that makes up for it! Sorry you had to sit through countless boring meetings about me because I had done something else!

Di – The most down to earth, frank person ive ever met. At first I didn’t like you, but you grew on me. Big time. I’m forever thankful to you. Even when you just ate fruit and had no chocolate to share. Your constant nagging somewhat paid off. Who would of thought I spend most days and nights writing for my blog when I couldn’t even write my gcse coursework? Sorry for being a complete nightmare, just see it as I’ve prepared you for everything and anything.

Mrs Baker aka shaz- One of the most loving caring people I know. Thank you for everything. You were the person who wanted the best for me. Who always forgave me after I did yet another ridiculous thing. The person who always came back no matter how far I pushed you away because you knew I didn’t mean it and really needed you. The person who spent hours on end talking to me trying to understand me. The person who actually got the ball rolling about trying to find a diagnosis for me. I hope I’m making you proud. Sorry for being a complete b*tch to you. They say you hurt the ones you love, so im going with that.

Jeff- My best bud, My chicken and rice friend. The person who let me do what I wanted. You basically got away without be ‘laurened’, that’s an achievement! After you left the green room was never the same. Thank you for being you. Thank you for listening to me, talking to me and understanding me. We were more alike than we first knew! Having you in my life and showing me the light really helped me see there was a future. You were more of a friend than a teacher. Remember when you tried to lift me like an aeroplane? Saying that im sure you were the one who got me to do the most ‘work.’ So thank you and thanks for not constantly nagging me to do my work, I did appreciate it pal.
Goodey- Your weird but wonderful ways meant I wasn’t really a fan (no offence.) who even likes comics? But you were still part of the picture and I still owe you a thanks and a sorry. Sorry for being annoying and calling you numerous different names. And thank you for everything you did for me. trying to wake me up for my naps however was a no go. Taking selfies on your tablet was my favourite thing to do because I meant I was being annoying haha, but really im sure you just found my face annoying. Thank you for doing your bit for me, I hope you’ve found a long lasting car!
To all five of you, you were all more than just members of staff and im so glad you do the job you do. Because you helped me immensely and im sure your helping lots more people just like me. So from me, from past and from present students thank you, we all appreciate what you do.Izzy, gee, Amelia and me! These girls ❤️Jeff, Hayds and me on our way back from driving. Me and hadyn certainly had a love hate relationship but really he was one of my faves! Somebody drew this and can’t remember who(probably goodey.) I loved this, me, jack and hayden were all pretty close, I told them what I thought we had arguments but really we were all in the same boat and looked out for each other. Me and my girls on my birthday! Jack and I! I’m glad the iPhone quality has improved haha!! We should have been in lessons but instead we decided to be di*ks and take selfies…. me and jack were mischievous together! I told him when was being and idiot and vice versa…. if one of us were ever in trouble the other would always join in (normally me)

Happy hump day people, it’s nearly Friday!!

Woohoo….

I hope you enjoyed reading this post, this one had been my favourite to write so far. I giggled, cringed and my heart was filled with love. All of these people have had such an impact on me and life wouldn’t be the same without them!

Next post Friday at 8am (early I know- thank god for scheduled posts)

Lauren xoxo

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2 thoughts on “The Green Room

  1. They were incredible people to be always supportive despite the pushback they got. In the end however that is exactly what a lot of people need, just constant support and a sense of belonging. Sometimes we push back hard on people because we are not used to having a heavy investment into our lives, that we are stuck thinking that we will never fit in and be alone. Certainly when people became invested in me it felt invasive and unnatural at first. Reading how happy you felt and how much joy even simple things brought you at that time put a smile on my face for sure.
    London is fine, so far just a lot of working and getting settled in.

    Liked by 1 person

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